The Satanic Guide for Living

I bet that reads really strange when you look at it doesn't it? It's not as strange as it may sound though. Satanism has an easy, yet effective, set of rules to live by. I'll post them up here, along with some commentary. (These and more articles can be found at http://www.churchofsatan.com/) The added commentary is mine though.

The Nine Satanic Sins
by Anton Szandor LaVey ©1987

1. Stupidity — The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.

2. Pretentiousness — Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn’t applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone’s made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not.

3. Solipsism — Can be very dangerous for Satanists. Projecting your reactions, responses and sensibilities onto someone who is probably far less attuned than you are. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy and respect that you naturally give them. They won’t. Instead, Satanists must strive to apply the dictum of “Do unto others as they do unto you.” It’s work for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian standpoint) we are far from that point.

4. Self-deceit — It’s in the “Nine Satanic Statements” but deserves to be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered into is when it’s fun, and with awareness. But then, it’s not self-deceit!

5. Herd Conformity — That’s obvious from a Satanic stance. It’s all right to conform to a person’s wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of being enslaved by the whims of the many.

6. Lack of Perspective — Again, this one can lead to a lot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, every day. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. Do not be swayed by herd constraints—know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world.

7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies — Be aware that this is one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something new and different, when in reality it’s something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the creator and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society.

8. Counterproductive Pride — That first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you’ve painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow, then do it.

9. Lack of Aesthetics — This is the physical application of the Balance Factor. Aesthetics is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off classical standards of beauty and form most of the time so they are discouraged in a consumer society, but an eye for beauty, for balance, is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for greatest magical effectiveness. It’s not what’s supposed to be pleasing—it’s what is. Aesthetics is a personal thing, reflective of one’s own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.

The Nine Satanic Statements
from The Satanic Bible, ©1969
by Anton Szandor LaVey

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!

2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!

5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!

7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!

Commentary: The big hang-up on this one is the indulgence versus abstinence. Here's what one person had to say about that.

Pastor Taylor: "Lust, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, Wrath, Pride and Anger lead us to physical, mental and emotional gratification."

I would have to disagree with this somewhat... Rational hedonism would dictate that these do not give us pleasure. Anything to excess is not pleasurable. If you like chocolate and you eat 5 lbs. of the stuff, you get sick and you are not gratified. You savior the taste of just a few in order to experience more pleasure another day. As with these all, they might lead to a short lived emotional gratification but in the long run they will hurt you.

Me: If you're going to quote the "Satanic Bible", read the rest of it. Read LaVey's chapter, "Indulgence, NOT compulsion." It'll give you the answer your looking for.

Let's use Pastor Taylor's argument. Why would you eat 5 lbs. of chocolate? Answer: You haven't eaten it in a long time. You would do the timeless ritual of: Abstinence, (people on a diet), Compulsion (Eating all the food they can), Gratification (enjoying the food), then guilt, (They broke their diet.) This doesn't work, either in dieting or religion. If your diet allows for you to take occasional breaks, (we call this the Zig-Zag diet), you won't have a need to be compulsive.

The federal government prosecuted Jenny Craig, Slimfast, and all the other diet companies, because they found that 95% of the people who diet gain all the weight back. The reason why is they utilize the cycle listed above. This creates what we call "yo-yo dieting" or in this case, "yo-yo religion". Let's look at it from this from a religious perspective.

You are a Christian. You engage in Abstinence, (don't sin). This leads to a compulsion to wanting to sin, which then causes compulsion, (Sinning). Because of the nature of denial, the sin commited is usually an ugly one by the Christian. This leads to guilt, (running to the church, praying, giving the Pastor lots of money), and back to abstinence. Then it repeats itself, over and over and over again, creating the "yo-yo" effect.

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
by Anton Szandor LaVey ©1967

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

Commentary: These are the most often mistaken ones. Let's go through a few of them.

Number 1: This coincides with Lavey's philosophy of "Live and let live", and "Do not complain about anything you need not subject yourself." Basically, if someone has a problem, and you do not owe this person anything, (like say, a familiar acquantance is in a family dispute), don't get involved. This leads to drained psychic energies, and little emotional gratification. Also, trying to help people that don't want it coincides with the Satanic sin of Solipsism, assuming someone else knows as much as you do.

Number 5: The question here is "What is the mating signal?" This is easy enough. There are tell-tale signs of a woman who is sexually advancing, and there are tell-tale signs she wants you to go away. You can flirt with a woman, but don't try to press yourself upon a woman, as it is a violation of her will. Stalkers are not welcomed in Satanism.

Number 6: Also, don't take a burden that you can't handle, or take a burden from someone who is a psychic vampire. (A person who is simply leaching off of you and your friendship.) Anyone who needs your help, and to whom has earned your care, indeed, you should do all you can for them. The reason is that the "responsible to those who are responsible". If you help someone who needs it, who's responsible, they'll reward you for your effort. However, to needlessly try to help someone is a violation of rules Number 8.

Number 8: Here's a question. Can you change the price of tea in China? The answer is, "No." What this means is that you shouldn't take on tasks that will ultimately drain you, leaving you with little time or devotion to your family or those that care for you. Particularly if these tasks you set for yourself have little reward. If you do decide to take on a task, don't complain about it, it was your own stupidity that made you take on the task, and stupidity is a Satanic Sin.

Number 9: This raises the question of abortion. "What is the Satanists position on abortion?" The Satanist is a realist as well. While the murder of little children, and the murder of babies not condoned by us, we consider this issue like suicide. Although frowned upon, we also understand it is the woman's right to have an abortion. If she does not have the physical/mental/financial means to take care of a child, why should she have to? Our Social Services are entirely overrun with foster children, who usually get placed in abusive households. Such children are usually responsible for later on crime.

People like to say things like, "Well you might have killed Einstein." Our social climate in America for learning is non-existant. Our teachers don't earn hardly anything. They are one of our most valuable resources, the very bedrock of American society, and what do they get? Wages that hardly even rival minimum wage. Is it any great wonder why our public educational systems are failing? In contrast, look to our college's. Some of the most accredited college's in the World are located in the U.S. Now, compare their paycheck. It is easy to see why the better populace are not wanting to become teachers. The system frankly sucks. Einstein, Edison, etc., were all considered problem children. Today's society would have them popping Ritalin and Prozac. I'd bet money that if Einstein and Edison were raised in our current social climate, they would not have achieved the same state of achievements, indeed if they even achieved at all! (More on this under my morality section of abortion).

Back to the subject at hand, following rules 1 and 8, we do not condemn a woman for having an abortion. It is her right, and her choice.

PENTAGONAL REVISIONISM:
A FIVE-POINT PROGRAM
by Anton Szandor LaVey ©1988

In recent years, we’ve wasted far too much time explaining that Satanism has nothing to do with kidnapping, drug abuse, child molestation, animal or child sacrifice, or any number of other acts that idiots, hysterics, or opportunists would like to credit us with. Satanism is a life-loving, rational philosophy that millions of people adhere to. Now we’re ready for something that goes quite a few steps beyond just explaining our principles. Every revisionist movement needs a set of goals/guidelines that are clear, concrete, and that will effect significant changes.

The following Five-Point Program reflects attitudes which allow others to decide whether they wish to align themselves with Satanism or not. Each is necessary for Satanic change to take place. When asked what we’re “doing,” here’s the answer:

1. Stratification — The point on which all the others ultimately rest. There can be no more myth of “equality” for all — it only translates to “mediocrity” and supports the weak at the expense of the strong. Water must be allowed to seek its own level without interference from apologists for incompetence. No one should be protected from the effects of his own stupidity.

2. Strict taxation of all churches — If churches were taxed for all their income and property, they’d crumble overnight of their own obsolescence, and the National Debt would be wiped out as quickly. The productive, the creative, the resourceful should be subsidized. So long as the useless and incompetent are getting paid, they should be heavily taxed.

3. No tolerance for religious beliefs secularized and incorporated into law and order issues — to re-establish “Lex Talionis” would require a complete overturning of the present in-justice system based on Judeo-Christian ideals, where the victim/defender has been made the criminal. Amnesty should be considered for anyone in prison because of his alleged “influence” upon the actual perpetrator of the crime. Everyone is influenced in what he or she does. Scapegoating has become a way of life, a means of survival for the unfit. As an extension of the Judeo-Christian cop-out of blaming the Devil for everything, criminals can gain leniency, even praise, by placing the blame on a convenient villain. Following the Satanic creed of “Responsibility to the responsible,” in a Satanic society, everyone must experience the consequences of his own actions — for good or ill.

4. Development and production of artificial human companions — The forbidden industry. An economic “godsend” which will allow everyone “power” over someone else. Polite, sophisticated, technologically feasible slavery. And the most profitable industry since T.V. and the computer.

5. The opportunity for anyone to live within a total environment of his or her choice, with mandatory adherence to the aesthetic and behavioral standards of same — Privately owned, operated, and controlled environments as an alternative to homogenized and polyglot ones. The freedom to insularize oneself within a social milieu of personal well-being. An opportunity to feel, see, and hear that which is most aesthetically pleasing, without interference from those who would pollute or detract from that option.

This is the encapsulated version of the current thrust of Satanic advocacy. So when someone asks you, “Well, what do Satanists do?”, you will be qualified to tell him (or her).

Comments: Most of these are fairly obvious, but I'll go through these.

Number 1: This is obvious. This has to deal with the fact that humans are constantly bearing the strain of the slacker. The person who doesn't want to bear their share of the weight. People who want to live off of welfare, and not pay taxes, etc. These kinds of people are social parasites, and they drag down the rest of the population. We should not have to pay for the mistakes of people who have fried their brains out on drugs, or anything else. We do have to pay homeage to our older generations, for they paid their dues, and to those who valiantly fought for our country, and ended up damaged because of this. But, I think the distinction is clear. The refuse, not those who have paid for our debt, should have to pay equal amounts. I think the policy of Jamestown was fantastic. "He who does not work, does not eat." Wouldn't that be a blissful society?

Number 2: I find this one a bit hilarious. One reason the CoS says that it retains Church status was so it could get tax breaks. Here though, Anton wants them taxed. That shows that he is NOT two-faced! He is willing to have the same restrictions he imposses on others for higher service on himself! I personally agree wholeheartedly. Why should Church land be so sacred? In American Law, I can have my home repossessed by the government at any time. I never actually "own" anything, for I am constantly having to pay taxes on everything I do own! Why should the Churches be so different? Why is it restricted to take their land, to make them pay taxes on things they own? Why don't they have to pay taxes on the donations that are given to them? Part of the reason is they qualify for a NFP (Not for Profit) organization. Technically, any orgnanization that ives off of donations is NFP. Yet, several of them have made video tapes, audio cassettes, etc. that they sell.

Number 3: This one is self-explanatory.

Number 4: This one is pretty much worthless.

Number 5: Continuing the theme right here.

THE WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL RELIGION
by Anton Szandor LaVey
(Originally appeared in The Cloven Hoof, Issue #127, Year XXXI A.S.)

Religion is the most important thing in a person’s life. If electric trains are the most pervasive thing in one’s life, that is his religion. Anything can be a religion if it means a lot. If your present religion isn’t the most important thing in your life, then skip it. Find whatever impels you most and make that your religion.

Religions are easy to invent. Most traditional religions have little or nothing to do with reality, are dependent on obfuscation, interpretation, guilt, and unreasoning faith—some more than others. Since Satanism is essentially a religion of the self, it holds that the individual and his personal needs comes first. If that means playing with trains or spike-heeled shoes or singing in the bathtub, those are its sacraments and devotions. Taking inventory of old comic books is counting beads on a rosary, each book being a station of the cross.

Before I codified Satanism, thus enabling me to integrate everything of a personal meaning into a suitable forum, I first considered the religion of Dogism. The belief system made sense, but was too limiting. Dogism holds that if you can’t eat it, and you can’t fuck it; piss on it. Much as I respect dogs and their gods, I could relate more to Catism, the principle religion of cats. The Five Commandments of Catism are:

(1) Don’t run, if you can walk.

(2) Don’t walk, if you can stand.

(3) Don’t stand, if you can sit.

(4) Don’t sit, if you can lie down, and

(5) Don’t stay awake, if you can take a nap.

Catism counsels: “He who sleeps the day away / lives to sleep another day,” or, “Respect the friend who brings your food, for he has been your choice / Or go and catch it for yourself, and have a louder voice,” and other such homilies.

Freud’s “pleasure principle” should be known to be the highest motivator for any religion. The significance of any fetish is a yardstick for its priority. When a fetish transcends all else, including survival needs, religious fanaticism is the result. When the audio equipment takes priority over the music, the way the music sounds is more important than the sound of the music. The act of falling in love can be more important than one’s choice of a mate. If the size of a screen is more important than what’s on it and the latest hardware and software eclipses the quality of the product entered—fetishism is the result.

All activity that consumes, therefore, should be recognized as being both religious and fetishistic. A Satanist whose hobby or fetish is Satanism per se, is no more of a Satanist than one who, realizing the indulgence advocated by Satanism, accepts the Name. The difference between the man or woman who’s a practicing Satanist, from an identity Satanist is that the practicing Satanist looks at the picture, while the identity Satanist studies the frame.

Those who disparage and belittle the Church of Satan to an obsessive degree reveal their fetish. In reality and practice, by their consuming interest, they reveal their true religion to be—the Church of Satan. Otherwise, they would turn on their heel, walk away, and refuse to subject themselves to that which they need not. Clearly, they need us. We don’t need them.

Never underestimate the sexual corollaries to fetishism/religion. It’s too easy (and convenient) to dismiss covert arousal. Just as there have been foot fetishists who work in shoe stores, there are masturbationist writers and artists who have nothing to say and write nothing worth reading. Their output amounts to one stroke or rub per line of type, using their typewriters or computers as sex toys. This can lead to sexual dependency upon the computer. Far-fetched? Things have changed since monks illuminated manuscripts and suffered ecstasies.

Varieties of religious experience can be as interesting as varieties of fetishism. Though there may be many kinds, overall, each disciple has his or her rigid set of preferred and obligatory devotions. Each has personal words of power as a result of distillation. All roads lead to Rome for the serious practitioner. It is Spare’s principle of reduction, Pavlov’s bell. The devout Catholic crosses himself and murmurs “Saints preserve us.” The Pentecostal shouts “Hallelujah!” The Jew says “Mazeltov.” A more potent manifestation is possible, when one considers the true nature of religion. They might instead say: “I need a drink,” “My niece with the fine ass...,” “Is she a disciplinarian?” Every fetishist/religionist has sacred buzzwords: “tickle,” “Cherry ’65 Mustang,” “stinky socks,” and millions more. Sexual fetishes are probably the most epicurean preference of the human animal. The smallest detail is of great significance and there is little margin for error. In fact, there is less room for deviance in deviance, than in any other human endeavor.

If certain words and phrases keep reappearing, it’s because they're never tiresome, always fresh. Uncle Louies favorite musical composition may be the same old tune to others, but to Uncle Louie, it improves with age - which is more than can be said for Uncle Louie. It is his Ave Maria.

Satanism is the only religion which serves to encourage and enhance one’s individual preferences, so long as there is admission of those needs. Thus, one’s personal and indelible religion (the picture) is integrated into a perfect frame. It’s a celebration of individuality without hypocrisy, of solidarity without mindlessness, of objective subjectivity. There need be no deviation from these principles. They should summarily negate internecine strife and bickering. Any attempts at Satanic “reformation” should be seen for what they are: creating problems where none exist. There should be no place in any religion for reformers whose very religion is the fetish of reformation. There is even a place and title for compulsive dissidents, and if they can wear the mantle, they are welcome. They would delude themselves to be revolutionaries. In our camp, they are called “House Masochists.”

Other Satanic Codes of Conduct

• Always ask the big question. "Why?" Never assume someone else to be correct without investigating it yourself. One false belief can be a downfall.

• Never let any man or woman think they bested you. When someone talks to you, or interacts with you, show them your dominance. Never let anyone challenge you intellectually without letting them leave with a headful of new knowledge to contemplate.

• Live your life to the fullest of your own gratification. You only answer to yourself, and no one else.

• Humans have invented hundreds of Gods. If you need one, pick one that suits your particular needs and orbits best, not the one that is currently the most popular.

• Do not mock the spirits. It is hypocritical to summon a spirit for help, then form a protective barrier against that same spirit you summoned!

• You may have sex with anyone you want, so long as they are adult consentual partners. A child or animal cannot express its desire to not have sex, neither can a drunk girl. These types of activities are violation of their will, and very un-Satanic.

• White magic and black magic were invented with the sole purpose of controlling the mind of the practioner. To create boundaries that don't exist between the realm of knowledge and the realm of crude matter. Indeed, once these beliefs become subconsciously embedded, they can become a powerful vehicle for control, so powerful in fact that a magician performing a ritual will curse himself for his own subconscious belief!

• Satanic rituals do not actually call forth demons, (in the literal sense). These type of rituals are only done by those who are in fear of the very things they are trying to summon. Now, a note here. Calling forth a demon requires extreme amounts of knowledge, and skill. I think that some of the laws Lavey put on Satanism were to prevent his practicioners from harming themselves, as indeed, that is strong magic to try to dabble in. After all, look at your average teenage/rebellious Christian teenager. Do you honestly want them practicing strong magic? Lol. Even then though, the amount of effort it would take to get the ritual to work is tremendous, and they'd either become trapped in their own delusions, or altogether frustrated.